Last week I heard a short story on the Today Show about a mom who went on strike. I didn't get to really listen to the story, because, ironically, I was busy putting away the breakfast items, straightening the house up, switching the laundry, and getting everyone out the door to school. After the dust had settled (no pun intended), I sat down and found the story online. You can see the whole story here - but in short, this mom and dad decided to go on "Strike" and stop cleaning up after their kids. To see how long it would take for the kids to start voluntarily cleaning up after themselves and take responsibility for their things.
In our house, I have been finding myself more and more frustrated with things getting "Half-Done" Getting out the items for cereal, but then not putting them away. Walking past their piles of laundry and having to be told to take them upstairs - and even then, leaving the folded piles on their floor instead of putting them away. Leaving their bathroom counter cluttered, towels on the floor, clothes discarded in the counter.
I'm tired of nagging. They are 8, 10, and 14. This is not a new thing to them - they are used to cleaning up, we just always have to tell them to do it first. And we don't pay for chores - during the summer we are more organized with their chore responsibilities, but they also have a lot more time on their hands. During the school year we are all busier and it takes all of us to get things done. As Duane said to them this morning, "IT's the whole family's responsibility to clean up after themselves, it's not Mom's job. You aren't babies anymore."
So, we are going on strike ourselves. Now, the family in the story above did it without saying a word to their kids. We felt that for our family, expecting them to all of a sudden raise to a standard that they hadn't been raised with was unfair. So we sat our kids down this morning and explained that we were tired of seeing them not take responsibility for their things, and for not taking the initiative to, say, take out a full bag of trash or put the milk away on the counter. Then my husband and I walked out of the room.
(Quick disclaimer: A few guidelines we came up with, for ourselves - I will do their laundry as long as it is in their laundry hamper. Duane and I have set aside a plate, cup, and utensils for ourselves and have hidden them away. We will use them, wash them, and put them in their spot. Paper plates and plastic utensils have been removed from the pantry. Any lights left on in their rooms after they leave for school (SUCH a pet peeve of mine!) will results in the lightbulbs removed. Electricity is a privilege, not a right.)
I came downstairs a few minutes later and all three kids were on the couch watching the morning news. As I looked over at the kitchen, I saw cereal boxes on the counter, pizza boxes from the night before on the counter, clean dishes in the dishwasher waiting to be put away, and dirty dishes piled up in the sink. Kitchen trash can sitting in the middle of the floor. I said casually "I'm doing a load of whites right now" to which my eldest said "Yeah, I have some on my bedroom floor... that's ok"
This is going to be a long week.
After they had all gone to school, I see my daughter's lunch box still sitting on the kitchen counter. The kitchen mess is still there. There is a juice box, fruit snack wrapper, and cheese stick wrapper on the family room table - where all three kids had been sitting just 15 minutes before. Walking upstairs, my son had three lights on in his room. I removed the lightbulbs.
I feel I may be spending a lot of time here - the only room that rarely gets messed up - our "Piano Room"...
It's a good thing I have Bible study this morning - not only do I need the prayer time (!), but it's only the first day of this challenge - the house isn't completely covered in chaos yet!
In our house, I have been finding myself more and more frustrated with things getting "Half-Done" Getting out the items for cereal, but then not putting them away. Walking past their piles of laundry and having to be told to take them upstairs - and even then, leaving the folded piles on their floor instead of putting them away. Leaving their bathroom counter cluttered, towels on the floor, clothes discarded in the counter.
I'm tired of nagging. They are 8, 10, and 14. This is not a new thing to them - they are used to cleaning up, we just always have to tell them to do it first. And we don't pay for chores - during the summer we are more organized with their chore responsibilities, but they also have a lot more time on their hands. During the school year we are all busier and it takes all of us to get things done. As Duane said to them this morning, "IT's the whole family's responsibility to clean up after themselves, it's not Mom's job. You aren't babies anymore."
So, we are going on strike ourselves. Now, the family in the story above did it without saying a word to their kids. We felt that for our family, expecting them to all of a sudden raise to a standard that they hadn't been raised with was unfair. So we sat our kids down this morning and explained that we were tired of seeing them not take responsibility for their things, and for not taking the initiative to, say, take out a full bag of trash or put the milk away on the counter. Then my husband and I walked out of the room.
(Quick disclaimer: A few guidelines we came up with, for ourselves - I will do their laundry as long as it is in their laundry hamper. Duane and I have set aside a plate, cup, and utensils for ourselves and have hidden them away. We will use them, wash them, and put them in their spot. Paper plates and plastic utensils have been removed from the pantry. Any lights left on in their rooms after they leave for school (SUCH a pet peeve of mine!) will results in the lightbulbs removed. Electricity is a privilege, not a right.)
I came downstairs a few minutes later and all three kids were on the couch watching the morning news. As I looked over at the kitchen, I saw cereal boxes on the counter, pizza boxes from the night before on the counter, clean dishes in the dishwasher waiting to be put away, and dirty dishes piled up in the sink. Kitchen trash can sitting in the middle of the floor. I said casually "I'm doing a load of whites right now" to which my eldest said "Yeah, I have some on my bedroom floor... that's ok"
This is going to be a long week.
After they had all gone to school, I see my daughter's lunch box still sitting on the kitchen counter. The kitchen mess is still there. There is a juice box, fruit snack wrapper, and cheese stick wrapper on the family room table - where all three kids had been sitting just 15 minutes before. Walking upstairs, my son had three lights on in his room. I removed the lightbulbs.
I feel I may be spending a lot of time here - the only room that rarely gets messed up - our "Piano Room"...
It's a good thing I have Bible study this morning - not only do I need the prayer time (!), but it's only the first day of this challenge - the house isn't completely covered in chaos yet!
4 comments:
I love you, Sally!! Well, I will be embarking on a similar experiment in a few weeks myself! My hubby will be away, which will work much better for me I think. (We'll get to him later.) Unfortunately for me, I will have to deal with the kiddos, but also MYSELF!! I figure that they don't value tidiness as much as they should because of my own example, I'm sorry to say. And it is starting to affect how they view not only tidiness, but cleanliness, too--hence my standards-based bathroom cleaning techniques tutorial yesterday! Anyways, I am positive that it will be much easier to do my part when everyone else is also doing theirs!! My excuse has always been that I don't have the time or energy to deal with my things because I am always cleaning up behind everyone else...but that is only a 'half excuse,' I admit...
Good luck, and make sure when you go out today that you pick up some extra Bogle!! :-)
Love,
E
I saw that same family on a show last week. I think as long as you are consistant, they will figure it out and it won't take long. I applaud you and your husband and I can't wait to read the updates on how it's progressing. Good luck!
Good luck. I hope they figure it out quickly for your own sake.
Go Mom!
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