Yesterday I aged 30 years. I went to the cardiologist.
(And let me just note casually that it has been TWO weeks since I passed out in the Officer's Club on top of my dear friend Amber who is surely scarred for life... sorry about that, Amber... And apparently the paramedics who came to my assitance were drop-dead gorgeous... and I missed it... since I was unconsious and all. Darn. But, it has taken Tricare, our military health insurance company, two weeks to approve me seeing the Cardiologist up in Boise and to get an appointment for me. SO glad I'm not dying or anything!)
So anyway, yesterday I walked in to the cardiologist' office and I immediately heard the old Sesame Street tune go through my head "One of these things just doesn't belong here, one of these things just isn't the same... " And I was definitely the thing that was out of place. In order to fit in here, I would definitely need at least a walker or portable oxygen tank or at the very least, an AARP card. So I sat down and idly flipped through the latest "Todays Senior" magazine... trying to fit in and all... and apparently seniors today really love off-roading in the park while riding their latest motorized scooters, because every other advertisement had seniors of all ages and races (how diverse and culturally sensitive!) all smiling beautiful smiles on their red shiny scooters. Almost made me want one. Until I remembered. I am not a senior. Remember, the song? Yep... no AARP card... no shot glass of Metamucil...I don't belong here.
I spent the next 3 hours getting an EKG and EchoCardioGram, and left with my very own heart monitor that I get to wear 24/7 for the next 30 days. And correct me if I'm wrong, but if one is being monitored for a heart situation, shouldn't the instructions with said monitor be, oh, NON-STRESSFUL? Here are the not-so-simple instructions if I were to have another episode: Immediately after said episode, or after re-gaining consciousness (yes, they actually said that) I press the "Report" button on my device. This will cause the device to squeal loudly and sends a recording of my heart activity the last 3 minutes to the doctor. Then, I am to call a 1-800 number on the back of the device, tell them my symptoms, and then I place my phone speaker- down on to the device and it transmits to the medical center. After it has finished transmitting, I pick up the phone and receive the confirmation that it has transmitted accurately.
Kinda James Bondish, eh? (Without the cool theme music... or exotic location and transformer sports car)
So I walked out - two monitors attached to my chest with the recorder in my pocket. Wires coming out of the bottom of my shirt into a square shaped box in my pocket. I looked exactly like a caucasian female terrorist with a device strapped to their chest.
Luckily, it is still winter here in the frozen tundra, so I can hide it beneath bulky sweatshirts and ski gear. Though my daughter's teacher did wonder why I refused to take off my jacket when I was helping in her class today... I didn't want to alarm the children. I mean, can you just see the news? "Local Parent Loses It While Helping Children Understand Long Division, Enters School Wired"
But I will say - and this did kind of alarm me a bit - I walked into our bank here in town. And NO ONE NOTICED THAT I HAD WIRES COMING OUT OF MY SHIRT! I mean, seriously... and, for the record, neither did the greeter at Walmart. Hmmm... apparently people in small towns aren't looking for potential terrorists masking themselves as late-30s housewives in grey sweats and purple ski jackets with wires coming out of their shirts. You never know... could happen...
But then I'd surely have to press the button and call the number and transmit the report and do the hokey-pokey while singing the Star Spangled Banner in German, and James Bond would have to swoop in and rescue me so we could go off-roading in our scooters from Seniors Today...
And I just don't have that kind of time.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Keeping It Real... Again
Another Hodgepodge Wednesday...
And a disclaimer - my blogging seems to go in spurts... truly, I admire those who can write lengthy witticisms on a daily basis... that's just not me. I may have an original thought every once in a while, or look at things in a witty sort of way, but somehow en route to the computer from the laundry room, I get distracted and completely forget what I was going to write about. Also, I've been in somewhat of an emotional roller coaster lately, so perhaps my mind's just not there... but I digress... on to today's Hodgepodge!
1. Would you rather be seen as the person who did their duty, or one who forged their own path?
You know, I'm not sure how to answer this. Sometimes, forging your own path IS in doing your duty, even if it means sacrificing selfish pursuits. (Example: remaining committed to spouse and children, even when things aren't perfect and temptation is around every corner)
But, forging your own path can also be found in all walks of life. Parenthood. Military duty. Education. Marriage. none of these things are taken lightly and may even go against other's "desires" for you. But if it is something you believe strongly in, then go for it. Do it with all of your heart and do your duty in it.
I don't know if I'm making any sense. On to the next question...
2. This week's Wednesday Hodgepodge happens to fall on Groundhog's Day. In keeping with that theme, if you could have a do-over of any one day out of the last seven, which day would it be and why? If you haven't seen the movie Groundhog Day this question will make absolutely no sense but that's okay...you can answer anyway.
Friday... definitely Friday... my hubby and I were away for a blissful 3 days without children - we slept in, ordered room service, went to the Boise Art Museum, walked around downtown, then had an incredible $$$ dinner and went to a play, then relaxed in the hotel bar with a glass of wine while being serenaded by live piano. Ahh... bliss...
3. Hot cocoa...yay or nay on the marshmallows?
Oh my goodness - I almost choked on my marshmallows as I saw that question! HAVE to have marshmallows! I'm pretty sure it's a law. And if its not, then it should be. Perhaps that is my calling in life...
4. Do you wear makeup every day? What are the top two must haves in your daily makeup routine?
I'm going to agree with the Hodgepodge Wednesday creator and state that if you have such thing as "Eye Serum" in your bathroom, then you should automatically be allowed at least 5 items of makeup in your daily makeup routine. I'm just sayin...
But to answer this, no, I do not wear makeup every day. I try to remember to put on lotion every day, and my serum of course... but honestly, the fact that I am up at o-dark-hundred getting kidletts fed and off to school and driving carpools, just getting dressed and my contacts in my bleary eyes is a major feat some mornings. I will always choose my cup of Keurig coffee over makeup. But I will say - although I don't wear makeup daily, I have not yet lowered my standards enough to wear pajama pants and Crocs and a stained t-shirt with no bra to Walmart... you are welcome.
5. Is it more important to you in a relationship to be loved or understood?
Oh dear... I would love both! But since the bloggy says I have to choose... I'd rather be loved. And hopefully, the one who loves me will try to understand me... and even ifhe they don't, they will love me anyway! I can't imagine really being able to love someone if I didn't at least understand them a little...
6. Parsley, sage, rosemary, or thyme...your favorite?
Ok, let me just say that thanks to this song, I can NOT have my spices ordered in any other way in my cupboard. Ok, not all my spices, just these four. Anything else can move around. These four, have to go in this order. Every time. I know... I need help.
And, since you asked... Rosemary, all the way.
7. What do you do when you feel angry?
You know, I rarely get angry... but lately I've had some experience with this, and I've got to say, I don't really like it. My heart races, I get all agitated, and I pace around the house yelling at inanimate (and sometimes animate) objects. Yeah - not a fun time. I usually feel much better once it's over though...
8. Insert your own random thought here.
I am still trying to figure out why the birdies in my neighborhood flock to my neighbor's bird feeders and avoid mine like the plague. I mean, our cat is gone... the bird seed is fresh and high quality... the feeders are practical yet stylish... I even moved them away from my kitchen window, as I thought perhaps the sight of me peering from the window was scaring them off... but alas... they flock to my neighbor. Maybe its because they heard me yelling at inanimate objects. I'm trying not to take it personally.
And a disclaimer - my blogging seems to go in spurts... truly, I admire those who can write lengthy witticisms on a daily basis... that's just not me. I may have an original thought every once in a while, or look at things in a witty sort of way, but somehow en route to the computer from the laundry room, I get distracted and completely forget what I was going to write about. Also, I've been in somewhat of an emotional roller coaster lately, so perhaps my mind's just not there... but I digress... on to today's Hodgepodge!
1. Would you rather be seen as the person who did their duty, or one who forged their own path?
You know, I'm not sure how to answer this. Sometimes, forging your own path IS in doing your duty, even if it means sacrificing selfish pursuits. (Example: remaining committed to spouse and children, even when things aren't perfect and temptation is around every corner)
But, forging your own path can also be found in all walks of life. Parenthood. Military duty. Education. Marriage. none of these things are taken lightly and may even go against other's "desires" for you. But if it is something you believe strongly in, then go for it. Do it with all of your heart and do your duty in it.
I don't know if I'm making any sense. On to the next question...
2. This week's Wednesday Hodgepodge happens to fall on Groundhog's Day. In keeping with that theme, if you could have a do-over of any one day out of the last seven, which day would it be and why? If you haven't seen the movie Groundhog Day this question will make absolutely no sense but that's okay...you can answer anyway.
Friday... definitely Friday... my hubby and I were away for a blissful 3 days without children - we slept in, ordered room service, went to the Boise Art Museum, walked around downtown, then had an incredible $$$ dinner and went to a play, then relaxed in the hotel bar with a glass of wine while being serenaded by live piano. Ahh... bliss...
3. Hot cocoa...yay or nay on the marshmallows?
Oh my goodness - I almost choked on my marshmallows as I saw that question! HAVE to have marshmallows! I'm pretty sure it's a law. And if its not, then it should be. Perhaps that is my calling in life...
4. Do you wear makeup every day? What are the top two must haves in your daily makeup routine?
I'm going to agree with the Hodgepodge Wednesday creator and state that if you have such thing as "Eye Serum" in your bathroom, then you should automatically be allowed at least 5 items of makeup in your daily makeup routine. I'm just sayin...
But to answer this, no, I do not wear makeup every day. I try to remember to put on lotion every day, and my serum of course... but honestly, the fact that I am up at o-dark-hundred getting kidletts fed and off to school and driving carpools, just getting dressed and my contacts in my bleary eyes is a major feat some mornings. I will always choose my cup of Keurig coffee over makeup. But I will say - although I don't wear makeup daily, I have not yet lowered my standards enough to wear pajama pants and Crocs and a stained t-shirt with no bra to Walmart... you are welcome.
5. Is it more important to you in a relationship to be loved or understood?
Oh dear... I would love both! But since the bloggy says I have to choose... I'd rather be loved. And hopefully, the one who loves me will try to understand me... and even if
6. Parsley, sage, rosemary, or thyme...your favorite?
Ok, let me just say that thanks to this song, I can NOT have my spices ordered in any other way in my cupboard. Ok, not all my spices, just these four. Anything else can move around. These four, have to go in this order. Every time. I know... I need help.
And, since you asked... Rosemary, all the way.
7. What do you do when you feel angry?
You know, I rarely get angry... but lately I've had some experience with this, and I've got to say, I don't really like it. My heart races, I get all agitated, and I pace around the house yelling at inanimate (and sometimes animate) objects. Yeah - not a fun time. I usually feel much better once it's over though...
8. Insert your own random thought here.
I am still trying to figure out why the birdies in my neighborhood flock to my neighbor's bird feeders and avoid mine like the plague. I mean, our cat is gone... the bird seed is fresh and high quality... the feeders are practical yet stylish... I even moved them away from my kitchen window, as I thought perhaps the sight of me peering from the window was scaring them off... but alas... they flock to my neighbor. Maybe its because they heard me yelling at inanimate objects. I'm trying not to take it personally.
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